growing up.

What a whirl of life it's been lately! I cannot describe how busy I am these days. I love and hate it all at the same time. I like being busy all the time because it has really forced me to make better use of my time and manage it well, but on the other hand I just don't have any time for like hanging out or having a whole lot of fun. I wake up early, work out, go to school, come home for 30 minutes, then go to work until sometimes 11 at night. Its really insane. But hey, it's all apart of growing up I guess.

Growing  up...

Been having to do alot of that recently. Just things that are popping up in my life that are forvcing me to face the fact that yes, my time here in my parents home is not going to probably last much longer, and sooner or later, whether I like it or not, I am going to have to be on my own soon. It's so exciting. But I am scared out of my mind. Just talk of college, my own house, my own schedule, my own family...that is about to stop being just talk. I have been telling my family for awhile now that I really and truly am planning on leaving Chesapeake after April. Not because I don't love ny family. Believe me, I am the most home-loving, familky-loving, Daddy's girl kinda person. I love home. But I have been so restless here. So eager to get out and start doing things outside of this small city of Chesapeake. I am ready for new landscapes, new people, new relationships, new environments...again, part of growing up. I never thought the words, "I just want to get out of here!!" would ever cross my lips. But they have. Many times.

I am so eager for anything that God may have for me. Even if it is here in Chesapeake. If he called me to stay here for forever, I would. BUT I have a feeling He has some amazing things for this girl to see. I am praying big. Like HUGE. Like Lord send me to Africa and Europe and the West Coast and just ANYWHERE. Life is such an adventure, and I am more than ready to get going. In this season of just being a young, passionate, energetic and single girl...I know there is SO much I can do for God right now. Things that I just won't be able to do once I am settled in a carreer, get married, and have a family (if that's the Lord's will). I just want to do big things for Jesus. That's all that matters to me. To see His kingdom come and His Gospel preached to all. the. nations.

Please keep praying for me! I am desperate for Jesus right now. I so am in need of direction and guidance because I seriously have no idea what I am supposed to do anymore. I have tried to figure it out, believe me. But once again, I got nothin'. But that's okay. He knows. He has a plan. He is leadin me. And He loves me.

Have a wonderful Sunday!!

p.s. For Thanksgiving, me and my family got to go to the farm!! My dad and I got ot go hunting for most of the trip. He got a buck, and I didin't get anything :( Oh well. Next time! How I have missed that place. Every time I go up there, I fall in love with it all over again. I just know that the country life is for me. I feel so close to God walking through those hay fields, surrounded by mountains, animals, long winding roads, farms and beautiful rolling hills. My sister Naomi said I was talking in my sleep the other night, and all I was talking about was how I just was praying for God to bring me a country boy who would love me with all his heart and who would love God. Then he would take me home to our huge farm out in the country with a huge white house and big red barn, and I would be so happy. Hahaha our dreams sure do say alot! We will see what God has. :))

checking in

I am here, still alive, and sad I havn't d had ANY time to blog. I just started working on top of being in school, so my life is literally go. go. go all the time. But Thanksgiving Break is this week and I am hoping to catch up on some long over-due posts.

But yeah...God is good, He is so faithiful, and I am so greatful for his love. Hope you all are doing well!

Blessings to you :)

early bird's heart.

Okay so I woke up this morning to all three of my alarms going off at 4:55, 5:00, and 5:05 am. Haha
I have been having alot of trouble sleeping the past few months, so in order to fall asleep, I drink two cups of nighttime tea, and take 2 Melatonin tablets each night (it's a natural "sleep hormone" that your body makes, but apparently I'm deficient!) I am so paranoid I will not wake up out of my asleep coma in time to get ready for clinical!!  Anyways, yes I have clinical this morning, and normally I am supposed to be on my way to the hospital right now but I looked at my schedule and of  course, I don't have to be there until 8:30am today. SO i have a little down time.

Well let's see.


I have really been doing okay this past week. God is teaching me so much. Lots of things are screaming for my attention these days like school, work, church and a million others. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't feeling overwhelmed. But I have been learning to take life one day at a time. Seriously. I know that sounds so simple, but for someone like me who wants to have everything planned and wants to know her whole future today, that can be challenging to do. But when you reach a certain point where you are just in over your head and you know it, it is nothing but the strength and grace of God that gets you through. Anyone relating right now?
I just am so thankful to be learning this now while I am still young. Learning how to handle life. By no means will I ever understand it all. But I am coming to realize that life is an adventure, and God likes to surprise His children...so am I gonna' let Him do that? I have a rough idea of what I want my future to look like, and I have somewhat planned how I will get there...and that's good don't get me wrong, but at the same time I am reminded of the verse in Provers: In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. The Lord is leading me and guiding me. And I pray you know the same is true for you too, dear friend! The Lord is guiding YOU. The Lord will reveal His ways to you, in big or small increments. SO do not fear.

So there's that.

Also, I am wondering if any of you all have any input for me. I have been having a hard time with church for the past few months...just lots of drama and heartache there, yet just up and leaving is proving to be extremely difficult, simply because I have gone there my entire life. So anyways, I have not been going for awhile now. I have visited a few other churches, but again am just having a really difficult time connecting with people, which I know is what I need. Really other than my mom, I do not have anyone investing into me spiritually or encouraging me right now, and it is definitely beginning to take it's tole. But while I am in the process of looking around for a new church family, do any of y'all have any recommendations on online sermons, or things like that that I can be listening to or reading? I have heard of a few, but was just wondering if any of you knew of any others. Please feel free to comment or email me! I would greatly appreciate it!! Thank you thank you :)

Well, I better scoot now...time to do Wednesday!! May the grace of our God go with each of you as you embark on another new day. Celebrate His faithfulness! For He is good.

on the verge of another monday...

well, here I am. Sunday night once again. I am dog tired, and not looking forward to getting up and starting a whole new week. But you know what, I have been dwelling on this truth this week, and that is the truth that tere is joy to be found in each day. Littl epockets of sunshine that I think the Lord strategically puts in my path. I know that might seem cheesy, haha but the analogy works for me ;)
So, rather than let you all know how much I really hate nursing right now, or how stressful my life is lol, I'll fill you in on what was really great about today.
I got to sleep in, I enjoyed a long leisurely cup of coffee with my parents, and got to just chill and watch hunting shows. No, I did not go to church. And that is okay. I just felt the need to rest and enjoy the gorgeous day the Lord had given us. My mama and I went for a 5 mile walk on the Great Dismal Swamp trail about 5 minutes from our house. It was awesome. We got to talk, enjoy the sinshine, get some good exercise, and just soak in the beauty of the leaves changing and the peace of a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

After that, I worked on some other things, and just hung out. I have a test tomorrow, but I really really don't feel like studying right now. Oh well, what better way to start the week than getting up before the sun, right? :)

Hope you have a wonderful week friends. Look for those hidden pockets of God's goodness throughout your day...you will be amazed at how much they pop up when you look :)

Your Very Best...

I had a really, really bad two days. Like really bad. So you know what I did? I went on a 95 minute walk on the treadmill while watching one of my absolute FAVORITE movies, Facing the Giants. I have yet to watch that movie and not cry and be totally inspired. Thought I would share one of my favorite scenes with ya'll. I was kinda pathetically sobbing all over myself while watching it, because i have never identified more with anything before. I feel exactly like Broc these days...but I know that my Jesus is right there on the field next to me, screaming encouragement and not letting me quit until i have given it my absolute best. My best.

Hope you are encouraged like I am by this!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zHPhVTw3YgM