unstoppable.

Well...God has certainly been teaching me some hard and painful lessons lately. This whole adult world-thing. It's definitely harder. My eyes have really been opened more to just how difficult it really is to stay strong in the faith, be true to who I am in Christ in the midst of opposition, and yeah, once again....just how much I need to depend on God alone.

Circumstances never are perfect. Situations never, ever, ever work out according to plan. At least my plan. Times change. And people let you down.

Have you ever liked someone? Yeah, me too. You know how it goes. They just come out of nowhere! You see them across the room at a party or a restaurant, or bible study even. Your head starts spinning, you get all nervous and jittery, and  your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth as you think about introducing yourself, or if your chicken like me, you get someone else to introduce you :) So yeah, then you meet this person, and the fireworks begin. Your on cloud ten, everything in life is beautiful and perfect, and problems just don't even compare to the joy you find when you think about the simple truth that they might like you too!! So you talk. You hang out. You find out how stinkin' much you have in common, and your attraction to them just soars. But your still trying to play it cool because you don't want them to think you're acting like some little wide-eyed 12 year old girl. But you sure as anything feel like one! :)

So time goes on. Still talking, still smilin', still happy.

But then reality hits. People who you love, respect and trust start noticing things, and say they are concerned for you. They say there is something more, someone more for you. They say don't try to make this work. You hear what everyone is saying, but you don't want to listen. How can you? You're infatuated! You're crazy for this person! You love being their friend, and yes, you dare to hope that they might even care for you!

But then you realize maybe this isn't really what I want. Or at least, that's what he is saying....just not with words. The texts slow down, the conversations at church diminish, and the smiles and enthusiastic greetings lesson... or even better, he walks away with someone else.

And leaves you standing there, wondering what in the world you did wrong.

Standing there under that summer night sky, a breathtaking Sunday night, the country music carrying over the whole amphitheater. You lift your eyes to heaven, trying to hold back the tears that are stinging your eyes under your cowgirl hat. You look across the crowd and see him still standing there. And you're heart feels like a lead weight. And it hits you. Wow. How did I get here?? And a new song starts playing from the stage...

What hurts the most was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away...

And Never knowin' what could've been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do



Then the tears come.

You look up once more at that once dark sky. But this time, you see those summer stars.
You cry out to the Only One in the universe who knows the hurt you are experiencing in that moment. You desperately try to pour your heart out to Him, but all that escapes your lips are the words, "Help me God."





And then you wait. You put on a smile. You laugh with your other friends. You dance to the upbeat songs. You snap some pictures.

And then the next song comes on. And you about fall to your knees because you know it is you and Jesus' song. So you close your eyes, and sing your heart out to Him!

But you just smile and take my hand



You've been there, you understand


It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true


Every long lost dream led me to where You are


Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars


Pointing me on my way into Your loving arms

This much I know is true:
That God blessed the broken road


That led me straight to You


But now I'm just rolling home into my Lover's arms


This much I know is true


That God blessed the broken road


That led me straight to You, Jesus






The song ends, and you sigh a little. You feel peace. Even just a little. And you realize you are safe because you are in His arms, and His plan is perfect, and He knows what He is doing.

"The Lord will perfect that which concerns me..." Psalm 137:8

It still hurts. And that's understandable. But you hear His voice speaking and whispering truth to your soul. He loves you. He is so proud of you. He has mind blowing things in store for you. Things so exciting that these heart stings will be forgotten in the blink of an eye. And that in the end, you are His baby, His princess, His free and crazy cowgirl... and you are in the best place you can be.

So you get into the car. You cry a little...okay maybe more than a little. You hit the steering wheel.  But you talk to Him. You pour out everything to Him... and pray for Him to encourage your heart.

And what does He do?

He gives you the most encouraging thing you could possibly want...for He knows how much it means to you. He knows music speaks to you, and He knows that you are encouraged through it.
So He gives you one more song....and as it's playing on the radio, you sing with all your might, roll the windows down, and that summer breeze blows through the car, sweeping away your unbelief. For the truth is, love is unstoppable. His love is unstoppable!!





When your heart is full of doubt


And you think that there's no way out




You find your faith has been lost and shaken


You take back what's been taken


Get on your knees and dig down deep


You can do what you think is impossible



Keep on believing, don't give in


It'll come and make you whole again


It always will, it always does


Love is unstoppable!

wow. i love feeling like an idiot. best feeling ever!! ...........okay not really.

Now this is my kind of morning! Sitting here with my coffee and bible, the windows open, a lovely breeze blowing through the house, and I'm here at home alone. Just me and God. I can safely say this is by far the best part of my day. How refreshed and encouraged I am when I am in the presence of God! And I don't have to pretend or put on an act for Him. He knows everything. I can lay all my cares and anxieties before Him.

Well, let me tell you, I certainly had alot to talk to him about this morning!

So, okay, have you ever done anything so retarded, you could kick yourself? Yeah, well I had one of those moments this weekend. No worries, I didn't do anything like life- threatening or illegal haha. No, it was more of a complete relapse of sense that resulted in my looking and feeling like a total idiot. Oh, what a wonderful feeling that is!!

So hahaha anyways, being the way I am, I kinda freaked out when my cousin brought this thing to my attention. I had an inkling of what she was going to say honestly, but just was trying not to think about it. But then she said it, and I wanted to crawl in a hole. And okay okay, it wasn't even that huge of a deal, but when it involves "certain people" you are trying to impress lol....lets just say things become a zillion times worse. Anybody felelin' me right now?? Oh please say yes.

Anyways, I just ran to the Lord this morning. I was beating myself up like crazy over it, and just telling myself the simple solution to fix it would be to just be never show my face in public again. Simple and efficient. My kind of style! =)
Okay, so I knew I couldn't really do that. But as I was journaling, and just pouring my heart out to God, I could feel Him just telling me to relax. Peace. That's what i kept hearing him say. I don't know about you, but I often feel like whenever I screw something up, I have totally and utterly ruined God's plan for my life. Not even kidding. So, how characteristic of God to hush me and quiet me with a loving reminder, even as I am in the midst of really panicking!

(heheheehe i couldn't resist putting this in)

The word that kept coming to my mind throughout this whole ordeal was the word "lead."  I was like ummm, okay God? But then I opened my bible and my eyes fell to this verse, and I was reading it, it clicked.

"In Your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In Your strength you will guide them to Your holy dwelling."

 Exodus 15:13

Notice, it says "Your" three times. Not "Hannah's"! Simple concept I know, but I about fell off the couch when I got it. The reason I'd gotten in this situation was because I had been doing the leading. I had been calling the shots, doing it all in my strength. And thus, I ended up where I did. Really messing things up. Surprise surprise.
So needless to say, I was convicted. The Lord showed me that wow... i really had been leading. Or at least trying. And I had failed miserably.

 But the hope I found in this verse was that the Lord leads in unfailing love. The Lord leads in His strength. The Lord leads me to His holy dwelling, which I interpret as His perfect plan, not mine. And oh, how relieving it is. I was once again reminded that yes, I can plan and plan my course as much as I want, but in the end, the Lord is the one who is directing my steps! And that means that yes, this stupidity of mine has to be part of His plan too.

So what do i do now? Ive still screwed up! Well, after the Lord showed me the verse in Exodus, he led me to the familiar passage in Psalm 37, but for some reason, it had a whole new meaning for me this morning, especially in light of my wonderfully genius actions. It is what the Lord wants me to do as He directs my steps.

"Trust in the Lord, and do good.

Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness!

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of  your heart!

Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and he shall bring it to pass! He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him..."
Psalm 37: 3-6

Friends, Jesus has our backs. He is positioned to bless us. And guess what?? He is always like that! Even when we royally mess things up! We can never "ruin" his plan for our lives. He is directing every single one of our steps. All we need to do is trust Him. Delight ourselves in Him. Commit our ways to Him. Rest in Him. And He, as he always has and always will, will most certainly prove himself faithful....

And you can bet your life on it.





Senior Video :)

here it is...hope you enjoy it! God is SO good! : D

at long last...

Well, tomorrow is the first of two graduations!
Hard to believe really. It still seems and feels so far away... being done with high school. Like I'm just still stuck in the mindset of "only 98 more school days" or "I can't wait until Christmas!" Seems like forever ago that I walked through the doors of Great Bridge High for the first time.

I wish I could open up and just pour out my heart like I normally can when I sit down to blog. But for some reason, the words just aren't coming right now. And I guess that's okay.

But thank you all for the support and prayers along the way. The Lord has been so good to me. I feel blessed to be part of an unseen community of bloggers. Feel free to pray for me as I finish out this week! I have two huge assignments, and finals, and studying...all that jazz ;)

May the peace of our Lord go with you all! Enjoy your night.
With love,
Hannah

Thought some of you might enjoy reading this...it's the bio I wrote to go in the graduation program:

Wow. Is this real? Am I actually graduating? I can’t even believe it. Seriously, I can’t even express how excited and thankful I am for today! God is so good to me!! I could seriously scream I’m so excited!



So yes, I’m Hannah! I love Jesus, my family, friends, church, country music, gardening, fiddling, writing, running, eating healthy, hunting, gerber daisies, cooking/baking in the kitchen, singing with my sisters, reading, shooting, and going to the beach…. just to name a few!


I will be continuing my pursuit of nursing this coming fall, and will be graduating as an LPN in April! Afterwards, I will attend TCC to get my associates, and then transfer to another college to get my BSN and then go on to become a Nurse Practitioner! I want to specialize in pediatrics or obstetrics, and am eager to travel overseas for missions! However, my heart and my passion truly lie in my music, so I am thinking about pursuing the study of music therapy as well! But no matter what road I go down with nursing, I just want my patients to know that they are loved and that Someone is there for them… and that Someone is Jesus!


As this new and exciting part of my story begins to unfold, my daily prayer remains the same: I want to be salt and light to a dark, broken and hurting world. Yes, even I can make a difference! But this is only possible because of Jesus. He alone is my joy, my strength and my song...and I want my life to bring Him ALL the glory!


Thank you to everyone who has stood with me through this journey! Without your faithful prayers, encouragement, and God’s strength, I wouldn’t be here today. So thank you with all my heart! I love you all!


“I want to live so fully in the Spirit that all my thought may be as sweet incense ascending to Thee and every act of my life may be an act of worship!”


-A.W. Tozer